Friends,
If anything is under attack in the modern Christian era, it is marriage for it is the building block of the kingdom of God. The population, maturation, and completion of this Kingdom is the eternal purpose of the Almighty.
Marriage and even its sexual celebration is the very image God uses to teach us His desire for intimacy with His chosen people. Marriage is that important to Him and the kingdom.
As with anything in learning the heart of God, we need to go first and foremost to His Word and ask for spiritual revelation. For those people who do not have the word of God, they are able to lead holy lives and reflect the grace and goodness of their Creator in spite being bereft of the written Scriptures. But those of us who have the Holy Scriptures in a written format need to desperately plumb those depths with God’s help.
So, we offer here the passages that deal directly with the roles of husband and wife. I have left off any commentary purposely so we can leave the word of God speak to us directly.
Quizzically, we all should wonder why there are so very few passages dealing with the key building block for the kingdom.
We will start with the New Covenant record to see what might have changed from the First Covenant. We will include the very few passages dealing with husbands and wives individually on their role, and how they are to interact with each other.
We will not include any passages about separation, divorce and remarriage or parents and their children, but strictly on marriage roles and interaction itself. As we will see shortly, there is nothing about this marriage interaction the Gospels itself.
Let the word of God speak to our hearts and change us for eternity.
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New Covenant
Amazingly as it may seem, there is not one verse dealing with the “how” of interaction between a husband and wife in the Gospels. We will be dealing with the question “why” a bit later.
1 Corinthians 7:2-5 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:25-33 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
Colossians 3:18-19 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.
Titus 2:3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
1 Peter 3:1-7 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
Note: you’ll notice there is less than six passages…total…for both husbands and wives in the list above covering the New Covenant.
First Covenant
Exodus 21:10 “If he takes to himself another woman (another wife who is his slave), he may not reduce her food, her clothing, or her conjugal rights…”
Deuteronomy 24:5 “When a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out with the army nor be charged with any duty; he shall be free at home one year and shall give happiness to his wife whom he has taken.
Ruth 3:6-13 So she went down to the threshing floor and did according to all that her mother-in-law had commanded her. When Boaz had eaten and drunk and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of grain; and she came secretly, and uncovered his feet and lay down. It happened in the middle of the night that the man was startled and bent forward; and behold, a woman was lying at his feet. He said, “Who are you?” And she answered, “I am Ruth your maid. So spread your covering over your maid, for you are a close relative.” Then he said, “May you be blessed of the LORD, my daughter. You have shown your last kindness to be better than the first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich. “Now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence. Now it is true I am a close relative; however, there is a relative closer than I. Remain this night, and when morning comes, if he will redeem you, good; let him redeem you. But if he does not wish to redeem you, then I will redeem you, as the LORD lives. Lie down until morning.”
1 Samuel 25:39-42 When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, “Blessed be the LORD, who has pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of Nabal and has kept back His servant from evil. The LORD has also returned the evildoing of Nabal on his own head.” Then David sent a proposal to Abigail, to take her as his wife. When the servants of David came to Abigail at Carmel, they spoke to her, saying, “David has sent us to you to take you as his wife.” She arose and bowed with her face to the ground and said, “Behold, your maidservant is a maid to wash the feet of my lord’s servants.” Then Abigail quickly arose, and rode on a donkey, with her five maidens who attended her; and she followed the messengers of David and became his wife.
Proverbs 12:4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.
Proverbs 21:9 It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
Proverbs 21:19 It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman.
Proverbs 27:15 A constant dripping on a day of steady rain And a contentious woman are alike…
Proverbs 31:10-12 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
We can glean things of the heart of God from other Old Testament stories of marriages, i.e. the patriarchs and their children, the prophets, the judges, etc.
Please note that some of these chosen passages above are sketchy for our definition stated for choice, but they are in the same spirit. Exodus 21 deals directly with the interaction, and that of a second wife who is also a slave! But notice, again, only a small handful in the entire Old Testament.
What can we surmise from this?
Certainly for one, that God intended His children to use God-given wisdom and human humble submission in the Holy Spirit, and generous interaction and accountability in dealing with each other. Or else we’d have a Bible with more pages than all the how-to marriage books combined.
For those who live in a individualistic culture with a fierce independent spirit, it’s extremely difficult to live a life and have a marriage as God intended. When combined with the spirit of mammon as in the west, it is most certainly a lethal combination.
God will take any of His children and lead them in all paths of righteousness for His sake! But…we must desire it with all our heart. And practice the fact we are slaves to God, servants to everyone, and are new creatures in Christ that can walk worthy moment by moment!
This is the will of God in Christ Jesus.
1 Peter 1:13-16 Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior because it is written, “YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY.”
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Please comment on this post right below. Feel free to write and proclaim your leadings in the Spirit in an honorable fashion.
Your friend and brother in fighting the good fight,
Marc
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Saints, we’re one day closer to Home, and Him! Love Him wholeheartedly!
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You may view our Archives here: RIGHTLY DIVIDING THE WORD – ARCHIVES; Complete Archives. May our Father richly bless you with His grace, through Jesus Christ our Lord, in order to walk worthy of His name.
Please comment on this post right below. Feel free to write and proclaim your leadings in the Spirit in an honorable fashion.
Marc White, Director, Walk Worthy Ministries, www.WalkWorthy.org
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